0

An autism sister watching Atypical: Season 2, Episode 1

FYI: This is what I thought of Atypical Season 1.

“There is a hole in the Antarctic the size of Maine.  It’s … the result of hot water bubbling under the ice. Invisible, but destroying the ice sheets from under the surface.”

I am completely enamored with this portrayal of an autism family unit – For two reasons.

42748877_724721124557754_6401491820877971456_nReason 1. [the hole is] the result of hot water bubbling under the ice. Invisible, but destroying the ice sheets from under the surface.

Chris and I were raised in a loving family unit for many years before it broke down. The way the four of us handled the break down was by letting the water boil and strip us, one sheet at a time. Throughout that time, we  treated each other in different ways – not always pleasant. We never pretended things were okay for Christos’ sake, and if we did we were really bad at it. See, autism doesn’t mean that it’s okay to lie to someone you love. Christos has always been treated as a son, a brother first and an autistic child/adult second. In times of chaos we kept the routine. In times of turmoil we treated him the same. We were all a constant presence for him, even when we didn’t want to be in each others company.

As a sibling I have tried to protect him, as a sibling to an autistic brother I was not ready. It’s funny to watch a version of my life on screen, with all the things I thought but never said. To imagine what Christos would have said if he was able to express himself. Despite not telling us what he thought, he was never treated as naive and we have never been under any illusion about his profound ability to understand us and comfort us then and now. He shows me time and time again that he loves me, even though we have scratched, hit and screamed at each other more times than I can remember.

Sure, to outsiders I might look like a jerk for teasing him, pinching him and deliberately making him angry – but, he is my brother first and an autism adult second. I deliberately misplace his things, I try to get away with not washing the dishes, not throwing away an empty bottle, singing in the car, even though I know it will annoy him. What kind of big sister would I be if I didn’t annoy my little brother?

Episode 1 captured the bubbling so well. It was like looking in a mirror to the past – that’s the best way I can think of describing it.

Reason 2. There is a hole in the Antarctic the size of Maine. The hole is always there, whether we acknowledge it or not, we lost something palpable, something that can never be replaced, it can never be the same. Even if the water was frozen again, it wouldn’t be the same water that turned to ice. Nevertheless, a hole doesn’t mean emptiness, it doesn’t mean darkness.

The sheets melted away and each one brought us closer to surface. We were no longer solid, we were no longer boldly assuming that we could stand firm against anything.  Instead, we became fluid – constantly changing, silently powerful, adaptable and immense.

Our relationships became a polynya, which is much stronger, deeper and more mysterious than ice.

*End*

I have been avoiding watching Atypical Season 2 because of how many people told me how good it is and that I have to watch it. It is good. It is !so worth watching. It is also agony to empathise, to let every silence turn into tears, to feel every twitch, every growl of the soul – and I’m only on episode 1.

Give it a chance. Look for the small things, like the little notes around the house, positioning, the routine, the things that are left unsaid.

Look for the bubbles.

Advertisements
1

Atypical:

Just binge-watched the much anticipated Netflix Original series ‘Atypical‘. The series follows Sam, who is on the Autism Spectrum, on his journey to finding love.

Even though its sold as a comedy, the show made me ugly-cry a lot more than it made me laugh out loud. The show presented many big and small moments that I have experienced first hand. The autistic lead is sincere and very well portrayed. You can see the extensive research that went into developing the ‘Sam’ character and he delivers quite well, in my opinion. Obviously, not everyone on the spectrum is like Sam, but I think this series is more about the family rather than the lead.

I can’t think of anything I disliked about the show, although you’ll hear a lot of self-proclaimed experts throwing shade at every opportunity. To them I say, appreciate the effort of incorporating an autism story into something as mainstream as Netflix. To you I say, watch it. Remember, not every person on the spectrum is like Sam, but this is a good starting point.

What was the inspiration for the story?
Robia Rashid says: “After working in network TV for a while, I just wanted to do something for myself. I was very aware that more people were being diagnosed with autism, and it was interesting to me that a whole generation of kids were growing up knowing that they were on the spectrum and wanting independence. That point of view seemed so interesting to me — and such a cool way to tell a dating story. You’ve seen the story of somebody looking for independence and looking for love before, but not from that specific point of view. I really was drawn to that. I was a little annoyed because it sounded really hard! I had to do a lot of research. A turning point was when I figured out that I wanted to use Sam’s voice-over. But it was both helpful and harder because it made the project much harder to write.”

Your son has the same desire to be loved that we all do.” This was the sentence in the trailer that made me want to watch Atypical. (I write about love here a lot)

I saw a lot of myself and my family in the Atypical family. The mum’s passion, making her life all about autism for so long that she forgot to live her own. The dad’s sweet disposition, feeling a disconnect to his son but making silent gestures to show his everlasting dedication to his family.

And of course, the sister. Sam’s sister spoke to me more in what she left unsaid. Watching the show as an autism sister I saw in her all the thoughts I have had in the last 19 years. I have so much in common with her and her family life. Not the obvious, as I am anything but a track star. Her triumphs are overlooked, her life is dependant on her brother’s and her future hangs in the balance. Sam says his sister never lets him get beat up as she instinctively steps in front of him when someone asks what’s wrong with him. Yet throughout the series she playfully punches him, hits him, climbs over him and jokes about his quirks. Casey (the sister) is so well written as a character she made me cry every time she was on screen.

Casey’s success is overshadowed because her family is preoccupied with Sam. When she meets up with them, she doesn’t hold a grudge. When her big news is obscured by what will happen to Sam, it’s her boyfriend who makes a scene about it to the parents. Casey knows Sam is paramount, she knows because she wants him to be. She struggles with deciding whether to ‘move on’ and do what’s best for her or to stay and help Sam through the hard times coming in the household. I lived this struggle. She is fearless when its comes to her brother and telling people to back off. She is his.

I can’t wait for season 2 of Atypical and I know it will be just as touching as the first. Well done Netflix. Well done to Robia Rashid for taking this on and doing it so well.