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Dog Treats, Ice Cube and Rutgers University for Autism

What is Silver Linings?

I go to Silver Linings to watch for any balloons we can reach and move to our world, and here are the ones I have been following in the last couple of months:

  1. Finley’s Barkery in Minnesota “embraces neurodiversity and empowers people to do what they love. 80-90% of adults with Autism and other developmental disabilities are unemployed or underemployed. Finley’s Barkery set out to change that statistic. By utilizing one’s unique strengths, our team takes pride in their roles from handcrafting the treats, to marketing and sales.”
  2. McDonald’s in Indianapolis: Leif, is 7 years old and has autism. His mum explains that “A classmate brought one of the toys to school and Leif saw it and spent the next two weeks hardly talking about anything else with us. He gets really fixated on things and creates stories around toys.” So, like any mum, they went to Mc Donalds and asked for the toy. Unfortunately, the toy had been sold out. *Enter Awareness*TaQualliyia, a 16-year-old employee, overheard that encounter spoke to her manager about the situation. With the manager’s approval, TaQualliyia spent 15 minutes dismantling the display behind the counter as Kandel and her family were eating lunch to get the toys for Leif. Read the story here.
  3. Results of a new study have revealed that brain scans might help predict autism in babies before symptoms appear. “We see an increased rate of growth in the outer surface of the brain, the folds, the sort of waviness of the surface that’s followed by an overgrowth of the brain in the second year,” says senior study author Joseph Piven, M.D., of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. The overgrowth of the brain they observed coincided with autism-related behaviors that start to emerge when the child reaches their second year, the researchers said. Read the story here.
  4. Represent, a social merchandising and marketing platform that enables influencers to create and sell custom apparel, announced their collaboration with Ice Cube in launching a limited edition apparel campaign to benefit Autism Speaks. Ice Cube is very vocal about his autism family. “I’m proud to support the great work that Autism Speaks does, a cause that is so important to me,” said Ice Cube. “My goal through this campaign is to not only help raise awareness but to also support this great organization’s efforts in promoting solutions for the needs of individuals with autism and their families.
    Ice Cube’s design is available on a variety of products for men and women, starting at $24.99, available at Represent.com/IceCube.
  5. In Oklahoma: Children on the spectrum were able to practice their pre-flight skills and how to be an airline passenger through the Wings for Autism program. The free event, which was held Will Rogers World Airport for families, brought children from across the state to participate in the program and had a waiting list. Watch the video here. Wings for Autism will be held in Allentown, PA May 6, 2017, Fresno, CA May 13, 2017, Appleton, WI – May 13, 2017, Denver, CO – May 13, 2017.
  6. Special Books by Special Kids: Founder and teacher, Chris Ulmer, began Special Books by Special Kids (SBSK) to share the unique talents and incredible personalities of the students in his special education classroom.
    Special Books by Special Kids is leading a global acceptance movement that brings awareness to the joys, needs, and struggles of the special needs community and promotes the acceptance and celebration of neurodiverse individuals by all. You can watch a beautiful video of Jon teaching his classmates about planets here.
  7. Legoland Park, Florida: Since 2016, Legoland has been working with Autism Speaks to make its amusement parks more friendly for guests on the autism spectrum. The resort in Winter Haven, Florida, explained some of the features it has added since then including “quiet rooms” and a pass specifically for guests with autism who may have difficulty waiting in line in a press release. Disneyland Paris also offers this.
  8. Speaking of Disney, as always. Disney, in association with Amaze announced an Autism-Friendly Performance of Aladdin – The Musical will be staged in Melbourne. This special performance will be held at Her Majesty’s Theatre on 12th August, 1.30pm. Aladdin was one of our favourite Disney films growing up.
    You can watch the video here.
  9. Stem cells research: This is the story of Gracie. Gracie is 7 years old and was one of 25 children who took part in the first-of-its-kind study at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. The study’s goal was to assess whether a transfusion of the children’s own umbilical cord blood containing rare stem cells could help treat their autism.
    The results? More than two-thirds of the children showed reported improvements. A larger second trial is underway, one its researchers hope will lead to long-term treatment for children with autism.
  10. Autism Involves Me: Cathy Lomond is the owner of Hotel Port Aux Basques in Port Aux Basques, Nfld. Cathy, working with Autism Involves Me, decided to create a space where those with autism disorder spectrum (ADS) can relax and enjoy their vacation. “The hotel has a lounge with a calming mural, a swing, a climbing wall and a sensory boat to create a comfortable environment for children with autism. There’s also a kids’ menu available with pictures of the food items, which can help foster independence for children who may have trouble speaking.”
  11. 9 million donation to open Britain’s first international autism centre: The money will be donated by Phones 4U billionaire John Caudwell.  The research and therapy centre will be based at Keele University and will cost £18 million. It will specialise in autism. “I have been deeply affected by the families I’ve met whose lives have been devastated by autism, and rebuilt thanks to the support of the charity. I am proud to support what is set to be a landmark development in the provision of services for the millions of people who are affected by autism on a daily basis.”The Caudwell International Children’s Centre (CICC) will include state-of-the-art assessment suites, a sensory garden to help children interact with nature, family training suites, training kitchens for cooking classes to encourage a healthy diet. It looks beautiful and it stand for something you cannot describe, only feel.
  12. Ambitious About Autism: The Ambitious College has opened its doors at Pears Campus at College of Haringey, Enfield and North East London and West London College. Ambitious College was created to give everyone the opportunity to lead a fulfilling, happy and rewarding life; and this includes young people with autism.“Our learners are at the heart of everything we do, their curriculum is highly personalised to help them achieve their goals.” Read more about it here. You know that I have worked with Ambitious on various different projects, therefore this College is very very close to my hear and I cannot wait to watch it succeed and become part of this amazing opportunity provided to the autism community.
  13. Have you stopped reading yet?
  14. Maryborough Correctional Centre: A pilot program in Queensland has had overwhelming success with inmates training special needs assistance dogs. Unexpected? Over 10 months, the prisoners taught the dogs complex tasks including wheelchair work, opening doors, picking up dropped items and turning on lights, all to prepare them for life with a special needs child. Smart Pups CEO, Patricia McAlister, said the pilot program had been very successful as the increasing demand for trained dogs was “huge” and outweighed the number of assistance dogs available.
  15. Rutgers Center for Adult Autism Services (RCAAS), based in Rutgers University, will “..feature a comprehensive program that is designed to support adults ages 21 to 60 with mild to moderate ASD through a wide range of services specifically tailored to meet their individual needs.” Will offer up to 60 adults with autism, and who live off campus, university jobs supported by clinical staff and graduate students. The second phase of the center will offer a pilot residential program for 20 adults with autism who will work on campus and live alongside Rutgers graduate students in an apartment-style residence.

I chose to end with Rutgers because this time last year we got emails from Rutgers University wishing Christo a happy birthday as part of #Project324. Avramis and Florentina were the 2 friends I asked to distribute the cards and so Rutgers because a familiar name during those months. I’ve copied some below because reading them makes me happy and I hope that reading them will prove to you that awareness is everything.

I hope that with all these new initiatives and stories circulating in the media, not a day will go past without you hearing the A word.

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Hope in Disney

553829_10150760901390030_1000986510_nI watched the Beauty and the Beast trailer on TV last night and I felt so emotional. People will say its cliche, or call me a princess because I love Disney films. I watched them all, every day, I know all the songs, the punchlines. It’s a world away from home. It’s how Christos and I bonded when we had nothing else in common.

Facebook drowned me in memory pictures this morning and reminded me that 5 years ago was the first time we took Chris to Disneyland Paris. I had been there the year before to scope it out. I was 22, he was 13 and my mum was exhausted. I had very little patience back then so shout out to my mum for being a saint and dealing with an overgrown teenager and an autistic son all on her own.

He was overwhelmed when we walked in. He didn’t know what was coming, what to expect, what to listen to or see first. The crowds were overbearing and we held on to him tight. By day two he was acting like a local. We were getting off the shuttle one morning and he fell. Suddenly in our heads alarm bells are ringing, the National Guard is summoned. You can see from the pictures that he was a big 13-year-old. He fell, but he didn’t cry. He limped because he still wanted to go to the park, however, he kept wanting to sit down. So, we went to the medical centre and we waited to be seen; after about an hour they just said it needs rest, so we sighed with relief, got him a wheelchair and used it as an excuse to give him anything he wanted. Every day at 5pm he wanted to go watch the parade, he identified his favourite rides, which we visited every day, his favourite crisps and the best ice cream. I won’t repeat myself, you can read about our Disneyland Adventures (volume 2 in 2015) in the  Mickeyminniegoofydonaldydaisypluto series of posts.

This month’s hope is also found in Disney.

Growing up with a brother that didn’t respond to his name, want to play with you and who broke things or rolled around on the floor in anger left little room for bonding. Don’t get
me wrong, I was connected to him from the day we found out he existed, but he never seemed to feel the same. Back when VCR’s were a thing, we had 2 drawers, a big cabinet and a small cabinet full of tapes. Mums family are all film fanatics, they love to chill out watching something and we have definitely inherited that habit. We would record them when they were on TV and then label and put away for watching later.

Despite his aversion to playing with me, he always joined me for a movie. I would put it on, and it would get his attention. Maybe it was that we all went silent when it started, maybe it was the music, the funny voices or maybe it was how much we laughed and how the atmosphere changed when a Disney song came on. We watched them religiously, nearly every day. On weekends we would watch Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck on TV and then in the evenings we would watch the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Aladdin, Hercules, Toy story, Lion King, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty etc. He picked it up quite fast and soon he knew the scenes off by heart. But when Frodo, Jafar, or Maleficent, or the Evil Queen were making an appearance he would hide behind the couch;  listening, but not looking.

Soon after, he started choosing what we were going to watch, he started fast forwarding the parts he found scary and he made sure each box had the correct tape in it. Cute right? No. He also needed all the stickers and covers to be perfect, which they were not because we used them every day. He wanted us to cut off the worn out bits, but cut them straight, and cut them right otherwise you needed to cut more and more and more until there was no sticker or cover left. He would also watch the whole movie, and then would rewind it and watch it in reverse. And because our VCR was old, some of the tapes got caught and were destroyed. My tapes. My Disney tapes. My escape. My world, the one without autism, the one where I was in control because I knew every word and I could count on all the happy endings.

I’m not bitter. Well, maybe a little bit.

It didn’t stop when DVD’s came out, he still ripped them to shreds, he scratched the discs, he ruined the plastic covers. I remember once, I had cleaned one of the discs with a cloth about 150 times. He would look at it touch it, and hand it back. So after the 151st time, I broke it in half. I was like “There, now it doesn’t matter if it’s clean”. Petty right? A bad sister right? The thing is I never treated him differently as a little brother because of his autism. I’d still deny that I had made him cry when mum would ask, I’d blame all broken stuff on him. I stole his food, he broke everything i owned. We yelled at eachother until we cried and we slapped eachother around a little bit. I’d put my foot in his face or throw my socks at him, and he would keep me up all night repeating words until we were both exhausted. And while this is how neurotypical siblings would bond, it wasn’t the same for us.

428326_10150752441475030_1462595363_nI remember how much I missed him, how my friends’ little brothers were so close to their sisters and how much they looked up to them. When I couldn’t get him to hang out with me, I would put on a Disney tape and put the volume right up. I’d hear the game boy music stop, the rustle of a blanket and tiny footsteps running up the stairs. And he would sit, ask me to apologise, turn the volume down and watch the movie with me.

I see a lot of Disney headlines that remind me of those lazy afternoons singing about a whole new world, or those Friday nights at our nans repeating the same old Lion King jokes with our granpa.

For example, Disney’s hit new musical Aladdin, playing in the West End, has announced its first dedicated Autism-Friendly performance will take place on Tuesday 29 August 2017. Wicked did this last year and The Lion King is staging its first Autism-Friendly performance Sunday 4 June 2017.

You may have heard that ‘Life, Animated’ was nominated for an Oscar this year. ‘Life, Animated’ follows the Suskind family and its unique way of communicating with their son — through Disney animated films. Inside his head, Owen created his own stories where he and Disney sidekicks battle villains who represent bullying, depression and even autism itself. The director has said that “Life, Animated” is a testament to the strength of family, the imagination of childhood and the power of story; “Owen is living a meaningful life and it’s not up to us to decide what that is. I’ve never met anyone more happy and content and open and honest about the world around him.” You can read more about it here and you can download it on iTunes or watch the trailer here.

Disney films don’t always have to be about the princess.

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Hope in millions

I just finished reading A Change of Heart. If you haven’t read it, do it right now. The next one on  my list is Inferno by Dan Brown. I had pre ordered it when it first came out and I never got around to it. Dan Brown books are the kind of books which you remember where you were when you read them. They are a journey of self discovery and they speak to each reader in a different way. Robert Langdon, the lead character, is a professor, a researcher, he is constantly looking for answers and is known for a brilliant problem-solving mind and his genius. 17195164_10154982012445030_1234091914_o

Autism can feel like a Dan Brown book some times. *Spoiler alert if you haven’t read them*

Angels and Demons is the beginning: Strange disappearances (being the diagnosis), a secret society that has infiltrated many global institutions, political, economical and religious. Autism has been around forever, but we didn’t even know what autism was in the 90’s, in Cyprus. We couldn’t Google it. It was spoken about in hushed tones and behind closed doors. When the vaccination scandal broke out and was the rebuked the conspiracy lovers amongst us looked at the big corporations, the big boys and wondered what we weren’t being told. As soon as we started researching, looking, reading we uncovered a world we had no idea existed. A powerful word and a condition so complex we had to dig deeper before we even scratched the surface.

The Da Vinci Code is the road to acceptance. It starts with murder (like all the books) that hits close to the heart. To us it was like all the dreams, hopes we had for his future had disappeared after the diagnosis. We set out on a journey to find the reason behind why this had happened. Langdon tries to solve the mystery of this ancient secret society. He breaks codes and solves puzzles. We broke sanity barriers and solved puzzles. Our Holy Grail was finding out how to reverse this. However, when he spoke his first word, we found out that all we had to do was love him for who he was. The answer is in his heart, in our love for him. He was the Holy Grail all along.

The Lost Symbol is about growing up, about realising what you are made of; a severed hand, the story of the prodigal son resonates throughout the book. A son away from home, who always had home with him. It reminds me of leaving Chris to come live in the UK. True, I do not think of myself as the angel Moloch, nor do i intend to. But throughout the book Langdon is submerged in his research around the hidden Ancient Mysteries whose knowledge is now lost to mankind because we have stopped looking at it the right way. The Lost Symbol is  knowledge. Knowledge by education, by research, by constantly learning. That’s what awareness is all about, knowing ones self is the missing key that prevents humans from realising their true potential; that there is a bit of divine in all of us. Whether we are neurotypical or neurodiverse.

This months hope is found in research.

Edinburgh University has been given £20m for autism studies. The Simons Foundation has made the contribution hoping to delve into the biological mechanisms that underpin changes in brain development linked with autism. You may remember – or not – that the Simons Foundation was also the foundation i wrote about in 2016. (see below)

Scientists based in the university’s Patrick Wild Centre for Research into Autism, Fragile X Syndrome and Intellectual Disabilities will use advanced techniques to probe brain development in the presence of DNA changes known to cause autism. They will be looking into the wiring variety of the brain and how it can affect how it can processes information.

There are so many on going projects around the world regarding autism right now. The poo research, the discovery of ASD genes that have never before been linked to autism show that we are now committed to investing big sums in search of a holy grail, a Word, a lost symbol. We are venturing out to the unknown in search of a gene, a pattern, a puzzle piece.

Stay tuned for Inferno.

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When Will We Learn?

I’m not going to write about the atrocity that was the US Election – here’s what i felt a year ago #Project324 Trump, Republicans and Disabilities, oh my.

I’m going to write about hope, the future. I’m going to remind you that you can change things, that you need to be strong in the face of racism, discrimination and unfairness. I’m going to ask you to take action, to not let this perversion become our legacy. I’m going to ask you to think about what world you want our kids to grow up in and what we can do right now to make sure they do.

Ambitious about Autism is an organisation i work with, they’ve put on projects like: #EmployMe for which I wrote –  What happens when you turn 18? UN International Day of Families for which I wrote – A letter to my autistic brother on his 18th birthday . Fun fact – I wrote this in 15 minutes and cried the whole way through, I haven’t read this since it’s been published. Maybe fun isn’t the word for it. Autism Friendly – Ambitious about Autism supported a London-based restaurant in winning the first of the National Autistic Society’s Autism Friendly Awards. Making the world Autism-Friendly Back to School – School Bells

Their latest is called #WhenWillWeLearn. The ambition is to make the ordinary possible for children and young people with autism. They provide services at schools and colleges, raise awareness and understanding and campaign for change. 

And they don’t give up. Their campaign asks you to write to your MP (if you are in the UK). Those of you outside the UK can write to your local authority, or you can write to me – I would love to forward your letter to our MPs, because it doesn’t matter where you live. A small change can resonate around the world – that’s the beauty of awareness, it doesn’t have borders. Sign up to show your support: ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/pledge-your-support or email me.

The campaign highlights that:
80% of children with autism experience anxiety every day about attending school;
45% had been illegally denied their right to a full education;
Over 1000 parents are forced to take legal action every year to get the support their child is entitled to;
42% of classroom teachers say their training doesn’t prepare them to meet the needs of children with autism; I wrote about this here.

So, please don’t give up. Because we have made a difference already; businesses introducing schemes to train people on the spectrum like Ford, Apple, Microsoft etc; stores introducing quiet hour to accommodate autism; TV shows are introducing characters on the spectrum; theatres/cinemas are catering for autistic youth; ‘neurodiversity’ is an official term and it’s all because of all of you, reading about autism and not giving up.

15007644_10154605350205030_2088488013_oI traveled to Venice on the 3rd November and, incidentally, it was also the day that Gatwick became an Autism Friendly airport. A ceremony was held but I didn’t know about it until later when i was stuffing my face with gelato and thinking about how much Christo would love it. The airport was presented with an award by the Chief Executive of the National Autistic Society to mark the achievement. Gatwick met a range of Autism Friendly criteria to help passengers, their families and carers, it has been praised for providing clear and accessible information for passengers about the airport and the assistance available to help plan for their journey. Staff have been specially trained to help assist autistic passengers and a hidden disability lanyard system has been put in place. HOW EXCITING. I wrote about Chris at the airport here. I know, I’ve referred to my own writings a lot in this post but it just goes to show that the information is everywhere, and it’s only a click away. So, click.

It’s up to us – we have to do this, we have to write, speak, call, email, visit, shout about all the things we want and by doing it for our own, we are doing it for everyone; one step at a time. Now, more than ever, we need to unite. We need to be one and we need to make our voices heard, because they did – so why can’t we? Now more than ever, we should recognise the power or the people. Because it was people that did this, and it will be people that change it.

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The end of Chapter 3

Earlier this week I found out that i have finally passed my Legal Practice Course; an LPC is the vocational stage of training to be a solicitor that must be taken after completing a law degree and before practicing. This means that after 8 years of being a law student, I am done. I was trying to describe to my friends how happy I was to receive the news and I couldn’t find words.

If you are a regular reader, you know that this was part of my life plan. I moved away from home, I’ve been studying since 2008 and working alongside my studies to set down the cornerstones of the life Christos will have to join eventually. This last month has been a tough one. My nan was in hospital for 3 weeks. My nan, or my 75137_10150101622680030_3087748_nyiayia, is a 2-time cancer survivor, she’s worked since she was 14 and she raised us all with such love. She loves a good sing-along, a western cowboy film, she knows how to throw a good party, she loves a good beer with her lunch and a whiskey on special occasions. She looks amazing; i know I’m biased but look at her! She always takes care of herself even though she worked 16-hour days, she never said no to a customer or an ill aunt, she was never too tired to run around after her grandchildren and I’m so proud of her – I used to borrow my yiaya’s jewelry and shoes, that’s how cool my yiayia is. She’s one tough cookie. I love my yiayia, she makes the best food, the best tea, toast and jam, she makes the best cakes (she owned a confectionery), she cries every time we speak and she rubs my feet even though hers are way more tired. I love my yiayia the most though because of how she treats Christo. I talk a lot about how our family felt after the diagnosis but my nan and granddad were right there with us. They went through all the emotions, all the ups and downs. They picked us up from school, babysat, they took Christo to speech therapy, to the oxygen chamber appointments, they watched the Lion King a thousand times, they picked up after  a tantrum, they always had a stash of calming treats, they stopped singing because he doesn’t like it and they never gave up on him. She has been a support to us and to Christo for as long as he has been with us. She knows his language, his schedule and how to bribe him for kisses and hugs. Christo knows he has to respect her, he knows which buttons to push and he knows that every time he says ‘yiayia’ she is ready to give him the world. I love the way they love him because it looks like the way i love him. It’s my only consolation, knowing he is loved that much every day I am not there.

By completing the course, I’ve ticked off a big box on my preparation list for our future. It’s something I have been working on for years, it’s the one thing I’ve worked so hard on, it’s what i will base the rest of my life on. And it’s done, it’s just there now waiting to be built on – waiting for me.

The end of the LPC is the end of the first big chapter in my life. 2 years of 4000 words every 10 days, 17 exams, sleepless nights, lots of wine, and lots of tears and it’s over. I breathe a sigh of relief before I move on, i take a moment to leave this behind and digest what it all means. In my head, everything i did was a step closer to the end game – the LPC was about 150,000 steps. I can look at my brother now with confidence, with certainty that we are going to be okay. I like to think that if he knew he would be proud, I like to think that deep down he knows. I can look back to when I left him to study in Lancaster and not be struck down by guilt; because after 8 years i did what i left him for. I think of all the birthdays i missed, all the tantrums, all the times he needed me and even though i can never go back and be there, it wasn’t all in vain.

Stay tuned for Chapter 4 of Life with the Pereras.

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School bells

Memories.

I have recently become more aware of the fact that i have blocked large chunks of my childhood and school life from my memory. There are things I don’t want to remember so at some point in my adult life i decided to put all those years in a black box and bury it somewhere. Unfortunately, that means that I also buried a lot of Chris’ early years, so many fun times with so many good friends that I only remember when they remind me. Even then, it’s like a dream, like it never happened to me. In primary school, i was bullied for the majority of my time there. All I remember is being super in (puppy) love with a boy, a doll house on my f74945_10152065431390030_291941620_nirst day, my favourite teacher and lots and lots of tears. I was bullied because i am not white; even though everyone in Cyprus is tanned. I was thrown down stairs, spat on, thrown in holes, in SKIP bins and verbally abused almost daily; I have scars on my knees, arms and face to this day. In high school the abuse settled and I made friends that I have to this day. Life at home was not great and I don’t remember most of those years either. I have a tattoo and a piercing to reassure me that i did go through a rebellious phase. I don’t remember what people thought about me, who wanted to be my friend and who didn’t. I don’t remember feeling like an outcast or being popular. I don’t know who i had lunch with every day. I know i had people that loved me, and that’s so enough, and so comforting.

I read this recently.

Several times lately I have tried to remember my time in middle school, did I like all my teachers, do I even remember them? Did I have many friends? Did I sit with anyone at lunch? Just how mean were kids really? I remember one kid on the bus called me “Tammy Fay Baker” bc I started awkwardly wearing eye liner in the sixth grade, I remember being tough and calling him a silly name back, but when he couldn’t see me anymore I cried. I do remember middle school being scary, and hard. Now that I have a child starting middle school, I have feelings of anxiety for him, and they can be overwhelming if I let them. Sometimes I’m grateful for his autism. That may sound like a terrible thing to say, but in some ways I think, I hope, it shields him. He doesn’t seem to notice when people stare at him when he flaps his hands. He doesn’t seem to notice that he doesn’t get invited to birthday parties anymore. And he doesn’t seem to mind if he eats lunch alone. It’s one of my daily questions for him. Was there a time today you felt sad? Who did you eat lunch with today? Sometimes the answer is a classmate, but most days it’s nobody. Those are the days I feel sad for him, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He is a super sweet child, who always has a smile and hug for everyone he meets. A friend of mine sent this beautiful picture to me today and when I saw it with the caption “Travis Rudolph is eating lunch with your son” I replied “who is that?” He said “FSU football player”, then I had tears streaming down my face. Travis Rudolph, a wide receiver at Florida State, and several other FSU players visited my sons school today. I’m not sure what exactly made this incredibly kind man share a lunch table with my son, but I’m happy to say that it will not soon be forgotten. This is one day I didn’t have to worry if my sweet boy ate lunch alone, because he sat across from someone who is a hero in many eyes. Travis Rudolph thank you so much, you made this momma exceedingly happy, and have made us fans for life!

Leah Paske – Bo’s momma

School is.. an experience. Some of us forget, some of us grow out of it, some despair and some thrive. We were all insecure, we all had self esteem issues, we all wanted company. How much easier would high school be if we just didn’t care though? If we didn’t shield ourselves, change our habits and go over and over every single word, pause and comma we used throughout the day? Some may say it’s because they don’t understand; that’s not true. Chris understands so much more than we give him credit for. Our kids are free, they are untouched by the weight of fitting in. Their spirit is unspoiled.  They get to be themselves without the fear of judgement. They can sit and have lunch alone without a care in the world, without trying to impress. I’ve talked about this before; the things we worry about are reflections of how much we are affected by the standards imposed on us by our community. We worry when they play alone, when they don’t get invited to parties, when people stare. We worry because we don’t understand what it’s like to live life without constantly trying to fit in.

I’m grateful for his autism too Leah. I am thankful i get to look up to a boy who is completely, carelessly and overwhelming okay with just being himself.

For the first day (back) at school if your kid has autism:

  • Dress them in their favourite clothes. If they have a uniform (get it from M&S) do a couple of trial runs before the first day so that if there’s anything uncomfortable you can sort it out before.
  • Pack their bag with them. They should know what’s in there and they should have a say in what’s in there. Make sure it’s stuff they have used before and it’s not all new and shiny.
  • Take them for walks around school (if you haven’t already) to familiarise them with the area. If you can meet teachers before hand – even better! Take the backpack with you, with lunch and maybe even wear the uniform. This way they know it all goes together.
  • Make sure the teacher knows how to handle questions, and that you are available to talk to the classmates about autism. Pretending like autism is not there is not the solution, it’s not acceptance.
  • If they have stimming toys, pack them.
  • Do a trial run of the early wake up.
  • Make a schedule and sit down and go over it with them.
  • Don’t make it a big deal. I mean, it’s the biggest deal EVER, but don’t create expectations they have to live up to.

If your kid doesn’t have autism talk to them about it. Chances are, they will come across someone on the spectrum during their education and you have to be able to answer questions. Learn about autism, educate yourselves, your children, your family. School doesn’t teach us everything, so be proactive, be positive, be generous and be inclusive. By teaching your kid about autism you are making someones school year bearable and you will make an autism family’s life just a little bit better.

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Summery Blue Balloons

A couple of posts ago I gave you a glimpse into my version of the world of Silver LiningsSilver Linings is a world we have created. In my head, it has very high ceilings and no stairs, or chairs or anything you can climb on. The silver linings are like balloons that deflate just a tiny bit every time progress is made. You go to silver linings when you are scared, because its a place of hope. It’s a place where fears and insecurities can be calmed because there are so may prospects and wonderful works in progress. 

There has been a lot of fear in July, all around the world we have witnessed inhuman acts of violence and hate. I forgot about Silver Liningsimg_3215. So, I spoke to my blue balloon, the one I will wait for forever the one that’s always just out of reach. He called me from the tablet we got him for his birthday. We said the usual: when I come to the airport he will eat bake rolls and drink iced tea. He kissed the screen and then asked mum to hang up so he could keep playing his game. I asked what he was doing now that schools are out and mum said that he is taking lessons with one of the girls. She has books, gold stars and even a red pen; she helps him with reading, writing, art and math. He is enjoying his summer, he is happy.

So, I went out in search for happiness, progress and deflated balloons and here’s what I found:

In Australia: Jack S, a 20 year old autistic man has landed his dream job in one of Sydney’s top restaurants. He will be working in the kitchen of award-winning celebrity haunt Catalina in Rose Bay. Jack has received a hospitality certificate at Meadowbank TAFE as part of his HSC and received an award for the Cerebral Palsy Alliance’s Transition To Work program. He works three days a week in the busy kitchen at the restaurant, under the guidance of head pastry chef Berny Osorio. His main duties include mixing, kneading and baking bread; preparing fruit; making biscuits; mixing marshmallow; washing salads; and plating up. You might remember, or know, that my dad is a chef at a hotel in Cyprus. Chris and I grew up with a love for cooking; and by cooking I mean food. We are trained to love any activity that gets us food. Chris can cook pasta, curry, lentils, rice, tomato sauce and probably a lot more that he just doesn’t want us to know because then we’d make him make it himself. He picks it up so easy, and he loves it. Even if we are making a dish, I can ask him to wash the tomatoes for me, to add the salt and pepper to the pan, to stir/mix, to grate the cheese and turn the heat up or down. In the last 5 years, and especially 2015, we have seen an all time high in utilising the pool of potential which is people on the spectrum.

In the US: An Albany restaurant and tavern has opened doors and opportunities for a local teen with autism. At the Orchard Tavern in Albany, they’ve taken on board 13 year old Jonathon Wade who was diagnosed with autism and Tourette’s syndrome. Jonathon is nonverbal, he communicates through iTouch, a program. Once a week, along with his aide, he goes to the tavern and folds boxes; he folds them, spins them, and stacks them. Jon refused payment from the Tavern, instead he asks for pasta with butter and a side of sauce. Jon sounds similar to Chris. I just want to point out how brave the parent are in situations like these. I mean the fear of leaving Chris anywhere for any amount of time is crippling, but its also depriving him of experience that he could have had. Sometimes, in life with autism, the line between selfishness and selflessness is blurred big time. He is so much more capable than we give him credit for, and he can do so much that we just end up doing for him. I hope that one day a member of his community will present him with the opportunities being provided to adults with autism all over the world. I hope that they see his capabilities, his potential and offer him employment.

In Cyprus: A young boy with autism, called Stephanos, has been the talk of the island. Stephanos has been taking piano lessons over the last year and a half and has make some amazing progress. He is the first person on the spectrum to undertake musical exams. His piano teacher calls him disciplined, cooperative and hard-working. He can follow instructions and he is a perfectionist, he doesn’t stop until it’s perfect.  I took piano lessons for years and years. I remember my piano teachers with so much love, they always asked about him and never judged. My first teacher, Mrs Rea, was the first one to mention to me that music may help. I remember him sitting on the piano we had at home and making so much noise. I even taught him a couple of notes, but being the rebel he is all he wanted to do was step on the pedals and make a fuss. When I go back home, I try to play and remember the music i was taught. He sits on the couch next to me, mutes the TV and listens until I stop. Sometimes I even get a kiss at the end of it.

There’s no end in the potential we can find all over the world, all we have to do is open our eyes and minds and make the unlikely places likely. There is kindness and love everywhere, unfortunately, you have to remember to look for it.