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Summer Love

This summer has been a tad amazing. Great weather, amazing friends, trips to remember, drama for weeks and a ton of lols. On the penultimate day of summer 2018 my 2018 summer secures a place in the Hall of Summers with a visit from my brother.

He arrived in the UK on Tuesday and will spend the next four days with me in Canterbury/London along with my mum and yiayia (grandma).

So far, their trip has been eventful to say the least.

Larnaca airport prides itself for being an airport for everyone. They have hosted days with people on the spectrum to experience the process of arrival, security checks, boarding and the aircraft. They have special paraphernalia to identify persons who require special assistance and priority service. In fact, ACI Europe awarded Larnaca International Airport with the first prize, among 500 other European airports from 45 states, in the category of “Most Accessible Airport for disabled persons and persons with reduced mobility.

Unfortunately, my family had to wait for an hour and a half while COBALT airlines found them three seats together – even though my brother had priority. This lead to them boarding the plane last. I assume that making a 20 year old autistic adult wait at check in for an hour and a half is not part of their accessibility offerings.

However, we recognise the efforts made by Hermes and we look forward to the smoothing out of such issues in the future.

We should also recognise that my brother flies quite often and therefore is familiar with airports. We are unable to fathom what would have happened if this was experienced by another person with autism.

Heathrow accessibility support on the other hand is incredible. They are prepared, organised, and trained to help. They act with professionalism and sympathy to people with hidden disabilities and the elderly. Due to Heathrow’s amazing partnerships with Autism West Midlands, the National Autistic Society and Autism Alliance they are ready, willing and able to assist travelers with cognitive disabilities and offer some comfort to their families.

40371016_479740792503127_4261342490960855040_nI must also mention Qatar’s accessibility support which we experienced in December while we were travelling back from Sri Lanka on our own. We were met at the aircraft door and we were accompanied to the door of our connecting flight. We were so comfortable that we didn’t even notice that we were there for 2 hours. This shouldn’t be a surprise since in 2007, the Qatar representative to the UN, Her Highness Sheikha Mozah bint Nasser Al Missned,  put forward a UN General Assembly resolution, to create World Autism Awareness Day. This gave way to a day dedicated to raising awareness about ASD across the world.

I hope that Larnaca and Cobalt will continue to learn and adapt, and one day follow the footsteps of these airports and become inclusive and sympathetic to people who require assistance.

He has adapted to the Underground, national rail and bus journeys better than I have after 10 years of living in the UK. I cannot put into words how proud I am of this boy, because he makes everything seem so easy. That’s the thing about autism – you have to know about it to know about it. And that’s why we are moved to tears when international airports, strangers and society make sure that our kids are looked after.

Of course even though my brother is cool AF, under the calmness of our tough exterior we are consumed by hurricanes because we know that the circumstances are not easy. That is why we worry ourselves sick whenever he is on the move, we don’t eat until he’s finished eating and we don’t sleep until he’s dreaming.

But, any autism family will tell you that stress, hunger and insomnia are a small price to pay for knowing your soulmate.

I will keep you updated on our Big Fat Cypriot Weekend which will be the perfect end to the perfect summer.

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The Sri Lanka Diaries: Proud Pereras

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Being back to life without Christos is harder than I thought.  The first couple of nights I kept waking up at 4.30 looking for him. This holiday was different because we depended on each other. Whatever he needed, I was the one he would come to. No back ups, no saying ‘yeah later’ and then never getting round to it. It was a surreal glimpse into our future.

I’ve written about the challenging parts of the holiday, now it’s time to go back to gushing over how great he is.

1. His routine: Christos works out his day in hours. So in the evenings, we would set out a plan for the next day hour by hour. For example:

  • 7.30 tea
  • 8am walk
  • 9am toast with jam and cheese (maybe chicken sausages)
  • 10am tennis/badminton
  • 11am go to the pool
  • 12.30pm shower
  • 1pm lunch (pasta with chicken or rice and curry)
  • 2pm game boy/or laptop (Shrek or The Road to El Dorado)
  • 3pm pool
  • 4.30pm shower
  • 5.20pm listen to music
  • 6pm tea/chocolate/fruit
  • 7pm listen to music
  • 8pm dinner (pasta with chicken or rice and curry)
  • 9pm bedtime

This wasn’t as rigid as it looks. For example, I could negotiate an extra half hour at the pool if he was in a good mood. Or we would skip the walk or the pool if it was raining. The night of the christmas gala dinner we stayed at the restaurant until 10.30pm! Also, if we were travelling the schedule looked different. He even let me explain to him how there are different times in different countries.

IMAGINE, trying to explain time zones to someone with onlyimg_8364 numbers and the words – dad, mum, Christos + Theodora, airplane, and (obviously) pasta.  I showed him the time in Colombo (dad), Doha (Christos + Theodora), Cyprus (mum) and explained that the airplane would take off and land in between. I wasn’t sure he got it, until we got to Doha and he asked me to change the time on my phone to the local time and did the same in Cyprus. I CAN’T EVEN.

 

2. His food: I’ve talked extensively about his eating habits on the blog and how far he has come from the days when mum had to pack a bunsen burner to take to the Maldives. He ate all sorts of chicken, and all sorts of rice and all sorts of pasta and sauces. He had a variety of options and made his mind up quite quickly. It didn’t bother him that it wasn’t always the same rice, and he never went for white. It didn’t bother him that the chicken was curry, or jamaican, or spicy, or salty, or lemony. He ate what was there, what caught his eye and was willing to switch in between. The chefs were on standby to make him something special, but we never needed to. In fact, all the staff were at his beck and call. I am so grateful to all the great people at Amaya Lake for their kindness; I wrote a review for them here.

3. Packing: He is the best at packing. I’m okay at packing – dad is not great (sorry daddy). Every time I lost something, Christos knew where it was. Every time I was packing he would bring me things I would have DEFINITELY forgotten. He is in his element – bossing us around and organising. Thanks to him, we went back home with all the things we had taken with us.

4. Compassion: While in Sri Lanka my aunty had a bad fall and had to be operated on. When we got to the house it was 5-6pm and Christos had warned me that he wanted chicken nuggets that night for dinner at 8pm. But: Which ones? Breadcrumbs or batter? Smooth or bitty? SPICY OR REGULAR? Or maybe a little img_8415bit spicy? Point is, it wouldn’t be the chicken nuggets he’s thinking of. I obviously always say okay and figure out the rest later. When we got there, it was obvious that we needed to make sure our aunty was okay first. Dad was mega stressed and there were millions of things he had to sort out and think about. Nuggets were not a priority. Christos played with his game boy from 5pm to 8pm that day. Why? Because he knew something was off. He knew the schedule was off. He didn’t ask to listen to music, or anything. He just played his game boy and stayed out of our way. We had pasta that night for dinner and it was okay. That was our proudest moment of the whole trip.

5: Affection: He was constantly holding my hand, giving me kisses, looking out for me. When I had a tummy ache, when I had a headache, when I was stressed – he was there for me. It was hard going back to Cyprus because his priorities changed. He was home. That meant he had our mum and nan who take care of him every day, all day. He didn’t need me anymore. Kisses were rushed, and cuddles were cut back to only when necessary. It really, really hurt. But! Let’s be real, he sees me 10 days a year. At the end of the day, I was only there for him for 13 days so obviously I’m not number one. I’m probably top 5. I hope I’m top 5.

This holiday meant so much to the three of us. There’s so much I’d like to tell you, but I can’t express it in words. This holiday was a feeling. When I think back to those 13 days, I feel a weight on my chest, it makes me cry, it makes me grin ear to ear and it makes me proud.