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Covid Coping

Aren’t you distressed by this lockdown?

Imagine the distress of people who find comfort in routine, people who need the security of repetition. Eating the same meal, going to the same shop, drinking the same brand of juice or going to school. We have had a schedule in our home since Christos started using PECS – details here. I talk about it extensively and often because it is central to keeping him calm and happy. The enormous amounts of work parents put into developing their kids communication skills either with PECS or otherwise and teaching everyone to use it is inconceivable – you can read about it on this blog or visit the web pages for autism organisations who share stories. (You can’t spell autism without family)

An autism family spends most of their lives educating at home because even though they may go to school and do homework, they can only get to the point of going to school and doing homework if the family has paved the way. They can only continue to grow, if the family keeps putting down those blue bricks and creating paths for them to take. You don’t understand the time and effort needed  our children’s education and every day life. The determination of family and the incredible teachers who contributed to Christos’ education created this 22 year old man who reads, writes, tells time, does math in his head, teaches himself (and us) to use technology and loves (with a bit of encouragement from us) learning new things (if it’s on the daily schedule).

Imagine the distress of those parents who have to home-school children who would otherwise be taught in a special unit or by a speech therapist. Think of parents who have both neurotypical and neurodiverse kids, who aren’t working at the moment, who can’t afford new toys or resources to occupy or educate their own for another 3 weeks. Parent’s who have to reiterate different schedules to persons with autism who don’t understand this sudden unexpected change and disruption to everyday life. By the way, if you or someone you know if having a hard time, there is a lot of information on coronavirus and resources that may help here

Even though we are all isolating, it is important to remember that some people are more at risk of not surviving social isolation or not recovering from it. Now, more than ever we need to think of others and, while staying home, find safe ways to help others who may be struggling more than you. There are so many ways to be kind – calling, texting, delivering supplies, donating to your local charity, giving away toys or books you won’t use etc.

My plan is to raise money by selling paintings I have painted over the last few years. I am raising money for the SMILE project which operates in Famagusta, Cyprus because “the Cypriot government, while responsible in making education accessible and available for all, has failed to …provide establishments which can cater to adults with autism living in the Cypriot society. Hence, it is left to autism societies, organisations and groups to create their own places of education and development of character.”

But what happens to areas where such an organisation doesn’t exist? Or it doesn’t have the funds? What happens when these schools close because of Covid-19 but some parents, who aren’t working due to the pandemic, still have to pay utilities and rent to keep the school.

“Every person involved in the SMILE project was once just like you. None of us knew autism until it burst into our lives. But we started learning, growing, getting stronger and stumbling the whole way here – to this moment when action was needed yet again. So here we are, getting back up and marching forward, hoping that you will be a helping hand (or smile) by our side” – Smiling September

“SMILE was created with determination to establish a safe, educational space for our kids where the state has failed. It is [operating]…because of the fearlessness and strength of those involved. Those who have done the manual work, donating time and money to ensure that our gentle giants do not suffer the consequences of a state that doesn’t understand them” – 21 and Atypical: The SMILE Project

So, pick a painting you like and make us an offer. These are difficult times, so it’s up to you to make a choice and donate directly to the school http://www.autismsupportfamagusta.com/donate . I will post the painting to you on the weekend after you order it.

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How being an autism sibling is getting me through the Covid-19 pandemic

Today is a day dedicated to autism awareness/acceptance/knowledge. In the midst of all the powerful things happening around us and in our minds, we need inspiration. We need a good cry about something, well, good. So today, give yourself a break and take a moment to read an autism family’s story (more resources below).

In honour of all the autism parents, persons, siblings, friends, families out there I’ll share a reflection on my story with you today.  I’ve compiled a list of traits, behaviours, thoughts that are getting me through this apocalyptic situation and they are all because of Christos.

Patience is so difficult at the best of times.

But growing up with as an autism sibling  my patience was tested every moment. From getting up/staying up early hours, to not being able to watch what I wanted, eat or drink what I wanted, go anywhere, to not being allowed to play with him, share with him or laugh with him – I was a spare. I was only needed when he needed me and until then I had to sit back, give him what he wanted and perform on queue.

I had to, it wasn’t a choice. When I heard I was getting a baby brother I never thought it would be baby brother who didn’t want me. I was the first-born, the first-grandchild and I was used to a life of glam and attention. Christos came and put me in my place – he stripped me of my persona and told me to sit back and observe. After a few years of laying low he said his first words. He gave hugs and told us he loved us.

Patience is a glimpse into what could be, what is coming, the bigger picture, ambition, hope and dreams. For me it’s all of us coming out of this and going out to the beach or restaurants or seeing friends and, of course, flying home to see my family.

Life with autism is like preparing for all sorts of apocalypses (it’s a word!).

For example, the crisis of not having enough chicken to make 6 identical chicken nuggets, the chaos that ensues running out of salt and vinegar crisps while on holiday in a third world country, the turmoil of not finding a DVD, a jumper, a sock, or a toy.

So we had crates of gluten free pasta shipped from Italy, a freezer full of nuggets ready to fry, boxes of Omega-3 so he wouldn’t miss a dose, long life goats milk, identical spare undershirts/underwear and luggage full of crisps and lemons from Cyprus which travelled all the way to and around Sri Lanka.

Stockpiling wasn’t panic-buying for an autism family, it was a lesson learnt. My parents’ mission was to keep the peace and make life for him as accessible as possible. In recent years the stock is inspected and maintained by the man himself; he updates lists and makes sure nothing goes missing without good reason. Somehow this filtered into my own life which means I plan ahead and have back ups to my back ups which has helped this last month as I haven’t had to wrestle for basic necessities.

Quarantined with yourself: a love/hate relationship.

Being an autism sibling means a lot of loving your own company. When my baby brother decided to retreat into his own beautiful brain I was shut out. I saw him entertain himself for hours without the need for any interaction. So I followed suit. I played games I imagined us playing together on my own, I turned to reading, I started and gave up on so many diaries. As a teen I was forced to go through most of the big life changes on my own for different reasons and spending every free minute helping with his care. When I moved to the UK I was living alone and had made few/if any new friends during Uni; most of my undegrad was me hanging out with people online or spending time alone, watching stuff, creating, and learning. It got to a low point and so I picked up and started wearing a Dora mask, pretending to be a social butterfly but that didn’t last long either.

My brother’s fearlessness in being himself forced me to take a chance on being myself too. He was unapologetic in wanting everything to be in order, ruthless in keeping with his routine and so sure of himself whenever he made a decision on what he wanted. I’ve wanted that all my life. So I started hanging out with myself, learning, listening, noticing. I started making decisions that I didn’t dread following through on and settled into being me, unapologetically.

Even though I am lucky enough to share my quarantine with the perfect partner, I still need that confidence to follow through with it and to understand my reactions every day.

Repeat, repeat.

I don’t even know where to start with this. I repeat the same examples on this blog – repeating sounds until he fell asleep, putting on socks, reiterating daily schedules, what time it is, what volume it is, what we will eat, what we will wear. Life with Christos is scheduled down to the minute. In Disneyland, we did the same route and same rides every day, in Sri Lanka he ate the same food every lunch and dinner, in Cyprus he plays his game boy at the same time every day. Have a scroll through the blog and see if there is a single post that doesn’t talk about repetition in some way.

He taught me that the known is comfortable, it takes away the worry of uncertainty and it frees up the mind to focus. During this whole pandemic we are also planning a house move. Without my autism sibling training I would be a mess. Instead, it’s all planned with packing schedules, lists and a routine.

44333001_353571598538233_179029183383470080_nThe list goes on but it’s not about quantity, it’s all about quality – another Perera lesson. I hope you have your coping mechanisms for this pandemic, but here’s a few resources if you are an autism family that needs a bit more care.

Another autism awareness day/month away from Christos, and a hard one at that. So please take a moment to read an autism story , or check in with your local group to see if there is anything you can support them with, send links to resources to autism families who may be struggling with daily schedules , wear blue, paint your nails blue, tell people why they’re blue.

Be kind, safe and take care of each other.

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Colour in darkness

There’s 3 things happening this week – Autism awareness week/day and month.

Possibly the most peculiar Autism Awareness Week/Month since their establishment but also the most unifying. We are all facing the same restrictions, the same stigma, the same fears and hopes. We deal and are affected in varying degrees and we are reminded that in times of darkness the world becomes just a little bit kinder.

Along with everything else this pandemic has shed light on, it has shown us how we all require a different approach/treatment. The kiddies need to stay home and still be educated, teens need to study at home and get used to online socialising, workers need to work from home or find ways to keep their cashflow, and the older generation needs to be protected, valued and provided for. In all these categories we have the people with underlying health conditions, mental health concerns, pregnant, disabilities, unemployed, homeless, ease of access to healthcare, childcare and autism.

This pandemic treats us all equally. Money, social status, friends, and being “normal” means nothing. We are faced with the reality of our own mortality and what that means individually for us. We are starting to open up and become aware of ourselves, appreciate what we have, respect others and give help where possible.

For this autism awareness month I want this to be a place where we can learn more, read about and become aware. We will expand our horizons, open up our worlds and come through this pandemic bigger, better, more inclusive, loving and respectful. I’ll find, share and maybe use some of my own stories to show you this pandemic from an autism point of view. And to counteract the bad, I will be offering up some of my paintings for sale, to raise funds for the SMILE school for autistic adults in Cyprus.

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21 and Atypical: Steph’s Got Talent

You will remember that Stephanos loves the arts. Playing music, singing, drawing, painting, crafts etc. He uses his talent to express words and emotions in a different way – like a true artist!

Over the years, he has taken major steps in improving his skills through weekly lessons and “he will improve much more as he grows and has the potential for much more that what we give him credit for” his mum reminds us. He loves painting horses, having started with a basic drawing of the outline and then moved on to slowly adding the horse mane, the tail to eventually winning an Erasmus award for one of his paintings.

60342861_295902934633404_3523312190037688320_nA friend of the family was part of ESIPP and Erasmus: ESIPP stands for Equality and Social Inclusion Through Positive Parenting and aims to provide parents with accurate information, effective practical strategies and improving outcomes for individuals with autism and their families. Parental autism education has not been available everywhere in Europe and through the work undertaken and the findings in the project ESIPP has made key recommendations for policy makers. The ESIPP project was established to develop a locally appropriate Parent Education Programme (PEP) for families living with autism in three south-east European countries (Croatia, Cyprus and the North Macedonia). The project is led by the University of Northampton and includes eight other partner organisations from across Europe.

ESIPP asked for design submissions for the project logo. So the society rounded up about 15 paintings from the Famagusta area. The Autism Famagusta Support society runs a yearly summer school in Ayia Napa where the children who attend undertake a range of activities – and they always keep kids work. Stephanos was one of the first for Cyprus.

Nowadays, he has an art studio next to his home where he takes daily lessons and showcases his art. At School, Stephanos loves art class and creating things in woodworking lessons. While the equipment was usually left to be handled by the teachers, a couple of months ago Stephano’s mum was sent photos of his latest woodwork creations from school where he actually put together this wood placemat with hot glue alone.

Stephanos also paints most of the clay money boxes that we decorate and sell at events.

 

Currently, he is working on creating occasion cards as another way to promote Autism Support Famagusta, autism awareness and earn money from selling cards created with Stephano’s input. I’m already putting in my order so all you summer babies that I love so much will be getting a Steph card! While he doesn’t come up with the occasion designs all alone, he follows instructions and does all the drawing and colouring.

Every single one of you express yourselves in a different way – with emotions, physical strength, volume, writing, activism. Which means that, at the end of the day, the only thing we have in common is that we are all different.

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You can donate to our society here.

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21 and Atypical: The stories we don’t tell

I remember so many 2am’s almost drifting into sleep when I would hear Christos whisper “Oh” and wait for me to repeat it. If i didn’ respond he would climb int bed with me until I did. Sometimes I didn’t use the right volume, tone or accent so he repeated it until I did, all night and as long as he wasn’t asleep himself.  By the time 6am came around and all three of us struggled to put his socks on, the right way. They need to be put on perfectly, if not you start again. If you touch the wrong spot, or accidentally stroke his ankle, toe at any point you have to start again. If you tickle him or give him an inadvertent ‘Lets go’ pat, you start again. If you don’t start at the right end, if both sides aren’t moving up at the same pace, if its too high or too low, you start again, you start again, you start again. No loose ends, no marks, no holes otherwise you start again. Even if its not visible, is it a new pair? Are you sure they’re a pair? Start again, just in case. Then come the shoes. Something’s not right; is it the shoes or the socks? Take everything off and start again. By the time we were ready for school we had already lived an entire working day.

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Stephanos, while in bed at night will hear his mum – or whoever is downstairs – clear their throat and he will run down the stairs, go straight outsidem, lie flat on the ground in the garden and sing a song until he is not upset and he is ready to go back to bed. Just like anyone of us the boys have characters of their own. They get angry when people don’t understand them, when a sound is so loud or a light is so bright that it interferes with their welbeing – wouldn’t you? Sometimes, they shout, scream and lose control – don’t you? The difference is that you can communicate your frustration, you can talk about it and find ways forward.

But what if you couldn’t?

Christos’ triggers could have been anything when he was growing up. We were all learning, trying to get to know this ball of fire that was gifted to us. Sometimes the consequence was a million ‘Ohs’, sometimes it was scratching at a mosquito bite until it was raw. I remember his arms, legs and face bear the scars of his incessant picking at every bit of his skin and tearing off any protection we tried to offer. He twisted his arm, legs and head hair to the point of pulling it off. Other times, he would be hitting his head with a closed fist so hard it left a mark, punching his arms and legs while clenching his jaw in frustration to whatever it was we had done wrong. What could we do? He was obsessed with every little spot on him, us, clothes items around the house. We would wipe and wipe and wipe until our hands we sore but whatever it was he could see was still there. When he became a teenager his frustration grew, and so did he. He is 6ft something and 90kg, he overshadows me at 5.2ft (and whatever weight I am depending on the year) and the rest of our family, teachers, friends. He would throw anything that was in his hand. I remember him once throwing his school bag over a tall bush and into the middle of the road. I remember him squeezing my fingers in his palm until I cried or squeezing my nans arm until he got yelled at by mum. He dug his nails so hard into his own skin that it bled and then he would cry.

At 13, Stephanos broke a window in his home. His injuries were so bad that he needed surgery. The next day, he woke up in pain, disorientated, and with stitches. He ripped them off during his meltdown despite his family’s best and desperate efforts to help. His self-harm started during his puberty. He used a closed fist to hit the side of his face so hard that he caused the retina in his eye to detach. His family lived with his rage and self-harm every day for years, this had become commonplace. He didn’t communicate to say something felt off but one day his mum noticed a whiteness in his eye and took him to the doctor who confirmed that Stephanos is blind in one eye. To help control his outbursts, his family used medication to calm him down but they say they never got to the root of the aggression, which peaked at 16/7 years old. Was it pain? Was it sensory? All they know was that they felt lost.

The families all feel guilt for not doing enough and for any harm the boys inflict on themselves, for every behaviour, every sound or scream. Not only are they judged and stared at for every atypical behaviour, they judge themselves always striving to do and give more. What parent doesn’t feel that? Our parent’s stood up, against all odds, in a society that didn’t even know the word ‘autism’ and created functioning, well-behaved adults who understand, laugh and love. What were you like as a teenager? And if you weren’t taught to refrain yourselves would you know how to?

Sensory sensitivity can be a real struggle. We could lie and say we are used to it after 20 years but it’s still frustrating and I still get annoyed and fight with Christos. The only advice that exists is keep at it, you’ll get it right at some point. It’s not their fault, and it sure isn’t your fault. We don’t understand what they see, hear or feel and that is in no way your fault. To everyone else who doesn’t live with autism – sometimes we don’t even hear the screaming because we live in a ball of scream. Other times, we don’t react to the hitting or pulling or scratching or throwing because we live in a world where silence is not the typical. Once the 100th storm of the day has passed, Stephanos’ calming depends on which behaviour has been triggered. He may go lie down by the front door, run to the back of the house, sing a song and stim with his index finger or stay flat down reciting a song. He will shred flowers, grass and weeds through his fingers, at day or night and for hours. He goes back in the house, he smiles and suddenly the slate is wiped. You have the strength to take on another 7 storms. Once the millionth ‘Oh’ has been said, Christos will just repeat our names over and over until we look like we are happy. He will shower us with cuddles and make us apologise for what we did to cause it. He will laugh until we laugh and he will cry if we cry. He will apologise and smile. Suddenly my fingers don’t hurt anymore and his kissy face makes it all ok.

So what happens when we aren’t there? Where will these reactions be housed? Where 11165285_10206036337501718_7756282778690047842_nwill they find forgiveness? How will they be understood? How do you size them up, find what they need and keep them safe? In Cyprus, in our case, the answer is to create something our government doesn’t offer – or can’t offer quickly enough. We work to find ways to fund high quality facilities which are based on ethical and inspiring opportunities for children and young adults with autism in the Famagusta area. To recruit and ensure that their education and development doesn’t stop just because being ‘typical’ means you leave school at 18. The members of the Autism Support Famagusta charity work all day, take care of their family and rack their brains to facilitate activities and growth based on individual interests and skills. Two of the boys going into this home will be Christos and Stephanos will you help?

The stories we don’t tell are the stories where we are all to blame for not making this world a world we can all live, grow and be in. They are stories in which our pursuit for comfortable and easy conversations are depriving young adults their future. They are the stories in which we are the villains for not caring enough because it’s not our ‘problem’. Christos and Stephanos hide from the Disney villains on the TV and they turn the villains around them to warriors. Which one are you? And what will you do this April, for autism awareness month, to make sure everyone has a place in this world? Until every last piece of the puzzle fits?

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21 and Atypical: You can’t spell autism without family

Celebrating parents and family in April – Autism Awareness Month – is a must. As well as being thrown into parenthood for the first time (or again), parents are thrown into the autism spectrum maze as well. They not only navigate parenthood but also autism and any other siblings. They are pushed into a minefield without any instruction and all the while knowing that every decision they make will change the lives of the family unit (and beyond).  They are the first example of strength we witness as siblings and their love, compassion and bravery mould us, push us, make us. I have collated a few of Stephanos’ and Christos’ family pearls of wisdom below:

Chriso (Stephanos mum):

“I can remember back in the days of nursery, just before the Ayia Napa primary school was to open the special unit for autism when I met Christos’ parents. We were introduced to each other and shown around the special unit so as to show us how it was going to be specialised and in the hope that they would be board. After that we kind of bonded and were in close contact for a lot of issues, not just autism, ranging from therapies, to school, to just life. During primary school and Apostolos Varnavas Stephanos has become connected to kids but Christos used to always save a swing seat for him and I think this camaraderie has stayed with them throughout the years. I always got the impression that the boys had full understanding of each other. They respected each others boundaries and would  not react or interrupt each other’s stimming behaviours.”

“When laughs it makes us all laugh with joy. It’s little things like when he finds cheese in the fridge and grabs a slice of bread and makes a mini sandwich, or when the electricity gets cut off and he goes to the electricity box and tries to switch up the MCB, or when his siblings play hide and seek or ball or generally doing things all together that reminds us that ultimately as long as he is happy we all are too. He is so full of love for his family, he sees one of us upset and he will approach and look at the tears or the face because he knows something is off. He will laugh at appropriate times of happiness, or if he sees his sister that is away studying or the others who come and go, he understands faces even though he wont always respond as per the social norms.”

15032849_10154114892521238_68260037536364233_n“Now they are 21. They go out into a society who has not prepared to welcome them. After this point and after our long journey, full of ups, downs , happy and sad we arrive at another hurdle. But, just like our boys we are always fighting, searching and promoting the awareness to all and especially to the parents who have just had a diagnosis and think their world has caved in. We stand by them because we made a decision to stand up and keep going for as long as we can. Crashing out is not an option because what is at risk is our boys. Autism has given us the opportunity to appreciate the smaller things in life which we would overlook in an already busy world.”
Chris (Stephanos sister):
“I am so amazed by his memory.  He remembers choreographies and song lyrics from years ago. So much so that we can dance to “I will survive” and he will remind me of the steps.”
When he sings Hakuna Matata “He hits the exact tone and also makes the background sounds of the music just with his mouth, he is unbelievable and sothumbnail_97F59141-AC3F-4BF6-9715-B348B40D813E talented. I can see that in general he likes music and especially Disney ones but I think it makes him feel more special that he gets to sing his favourite songs with me. Disney was definitely something we both enjoyed as kids so much and I think it was a way that we both could relate since we loved Disney and grew up with it until now. So I would say it’s more like a the first bond that made us become more closer as sister-brother relationship. I was listening to the Disney song ‘You’ll be in my heart’ from Tarzan few days ago and I instantly started being emotional when singing along cause all Disney songs just remind me of Steph and always will.”
“When he was younger he was a perfectionist he wouldn’t let me draw stuff the way I thought it was correct. He would just take his pen and do it his way on top. Sometimes he still does it now, but it was worse before when we were younger. I think Steph  is fine to do anything with me except drawing because he loves it that he wants to draw in his own way and that’s what makes him be so amazing at drawing.”
“It’s fascinating how autism can bring all people from different areas of the world together”.
Christiana (Christos’ mum):
After the diagnosis “…and while we thought we were alone in this battle, we met Chriso and Stephanos and that gave hope in our lives. We had a common cause and both families fought together. I remember the first time i saw Stephanos I was taken aback by his big bright eyes and his smile, and when i saw Chriso I saw an ally. She inspired me and gave me strength and still does to this day.”
884456_1403665136540932_166050827_o“Even though Christos is not social and doesn’t like too much interaction or hugging he is much more patient now than before. Even though isn’t friendly at first with people, with Stephanos it was always different. They never spoke to each other, they never went out or hung out, perhaps not even looked each other in the eyes once but always acknowledged and accepted each others presence. i really dont know how but in some way i am sure they have their own language. they both love music and walt disney characters. they are silent friends, and i am so happy when they are together.”
“Christos’ behaviour has changed and he has developed awareness which he did not have before. Christos is a loving boy, sensitive, and very well organised. He is perfect with directions, rarely being overwhelmed or getting lost. In fact, he helps us not to get lost, especially me when I am driving! He has eyes on the back of his head and you can never get away with anything he doesn’t approve of; like not washing your glass and not putting laundry for even one day. He has been travelling abroad from a very young age and has adapted perfectly to airports, trains, buses, queues etc.”
“Christos is an angel in our lives, he has brought us light, meaning and made us better human beings. We are so blessed to have him and our goal is to keep that smile on his face always because he is a happy child who soon will become a happy adult.”
Ajith (Christos dad):
“Their whole life starts from home; we are their first image of men and women, their example of people, family, lovers, parents, husbands and wives. Parents need to understand that once you become parents you become a role model, your family is you and even though it can be impossible at times to 16910928_10154942225380030_1134673750_omaintain the balance, keep it simple in your heart without looking at it as a duty but a happy and useful lesson in life.I want to conclude by saying that children with special needs, learning disabilities etc are my heart, I want to stress how important it is to make them feel equal, cuddle them and stop trying to adjust them to society’s unreal, outdated expectations.To all the families out there who are on this journey, repeating the first piece of advice I heard before starting this journey “Keep them happy”. It’s a way of life. My thoughts and prayers are with you every day.It is my life’s mission, along with the support surrounding us, to keep my son, and my family, happy to the best of my knowledge and ability.”
“I have learned and will learn so much from my son. Life for him is so simple and happy, in his own world, his own universe that we can only peek in once in a while. His demands are innocent and very genuine. He has his own routine, his own ways and his journey through learning, communicating, and compromising is simply beautiful. It is a blessing to live with him and see him grow.”
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21 and Atypical: Planet Blue💙

It’s autism awareness month and you may notice that a lot of the posts are blue. You may also scroll past or see numerous autism-friendly events and educational activities which will be taking place all month, everywhere in the world, in order to increase understanding, acceptance and further support people with autism.

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But why blue for autism? While there’s no definitive answer I think the reasoning is found in the meaning of Blue.

Blue is a colour found in nature such as the pale blue of a daytime sky or the rich dark blue of a deep ocean. It is for this reason that it is described as calm and serene. Blue seeks peace and tranquillity and although life with autism is not calm, Christos and Stephanos feel safe in their own space and surrounded by people that adore them. Stephanos’ godsister, Joanna, remember their days in primary school when Stephanos used to wait for her to pick him up from class for break and hold her hand when they had to play volleyball or basketball at gym. Aren’t you most at peace when you feel safe?

Blue is also a cool colour which can sometimes seem icy, distant or even cold. Before the diagnosis, the speech therapy and before we adjust to this new world of living with autism it can sometimes seem as though they are distant or not interested. When they don’t respond to their name, when they wiggle themselves out of a hug, when they wipe away a kiss, it may seem like a loss but Christos is an affectionate man who intimacy. He laughs with us, eats with us and cries when we are sad. He helps us when we are in pain and he surprises us with hand holding or a kiss. Stephanos, is more social in general and he allows kids to approach and touch him, to hold his hand, to guide him and even to kiss his cheek. He responds and seeks affection from his family while also showing them he loves them daily. The myth about people on the spectrum being unapproachable is one we aim to dispel every day. Don’t you find that you appreciate your alone-time as well?

42816046_319009918650137_5237303023620849664_nBlue is idealistic, it explores and pushed the boundaries of self-expression; in fact, it is the most used colour in business and 53% of country flags incorporate some shade of blue. Christos and Stephanos push limits in communication without words. They are imaginative and creative in their journeys. Stephanos dances, sings, plays music and has his own drawing studio. At school his talents are further cultivated by creating through woodwork and using the hot glue gun to complete his own work. His abilities are not defined by his speech or his ways of stimming and he reminds everyone around him to not underestimate his neurodiversity.

Blue can be conservative and predictable, a safe and secure colour; a traditional colour if you like. Christos used to be notorious for not liking change. Over the years we have seen such massive changes in him in terms of eating habits or changing his daily schedule last minute. He has become open-minded and has broken out of the shell the word ‘autism’ imposed on him. He is safe in his predictability and unpredictable in his emotional intelligence. Change may be difficult for Blue but how many of you are completely comfortable with frequent changes?

Blue also represents freedom. Perhaps freedom of mind, freedom to be whomever they want to be. Free from the restraints and pressures of social ‘norms’, liberated from being confined in one box and ‘fitting in’.

So, it’s autism awareness month and if you are reading this you’ve taken one step to contributing in spreading awareness. Other things you can do are:

Tell someone it’s autism awareness month.

Wear blue; a t shirt, accessory, or even blue jeans with the intention of it being for autism!

Image result for autism awareness puzzle ribbonDisplay the puzzle: The Autism Awareness Puzzle Ribbon is the most recognised symbol of the autism community in the world. Wear the Autism Awareness Puzzle Ribbon – as a pin on your shirt, a magnet on your car, a badge on your blog, or even your Facebook profile picture. The puzzle pattern reflects the complexity of the autism spectrum. The different colours and shapes represent the diversity of the people and families living with the condition. 

Find out what’s happening near you. Many Autism 15032849_10154114892521238_68260037536364233_nSociety local affiliates hold special events in their communities throughout the month of April.

Watch a movie or documentary about autism. Louis Theroux’s documentary “Extreme Love Autism”, Oscar nominated “Life, Animated”, “Autism in Love” on Netflix, “Girls with Autism” on ITV are just a handful of recent depictions of autism.  You can also read about Autism, and it doesn’t have to be a journal, or research. It can be fiction, like “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” by Mark Haddon, “House Rules” by Jodi Picoult or “Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend” by Matthew Dicks.

Donate to your local charity or ours Autism Support Famagusta .

Read #21andAtypical, share your story and #StandUpForAutism .

By embracing the puzzle piece, not the missing puzzle piece, we embrace the piece of our world that is autism. Tomorrow, the world will follow a tradition pioneered by Autism Speaks and Light It Up Blue. And while lighting a blue light doesn’t help parents struggling to balance a job, a family and autism, it raises awareness. Awareness will come from people who notice the different monuments/buildings worldwide going blue, a window in a quiet street displaying a puzzle ribbon, a local business fundraising for autism and they will ask questions about it. They might tell others, or go home and read about it. They may recognise it next time they see it and not stare, they might pass down the knowledge to younger generations.

If we could go into every house and help every family struggling with autism, we would. Instead, we will wear blue and we will tell people to wear blue. We will tell them why and we will talk about autism until all the pieces fit, until everyone understands.

From the Empire State Building in New York, Niagara Falls, the London Eye, Sidney Opera House, Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, Petra in Jordan, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy, the Taj Mahal in India, the Table Mountain in South Africa, the Burj Al Arab in Dubai, the Canton Tower in China, and the Great Buddha at Hyogo, people all over the world will Light it Up Blue to honour World Autism Awareness Day tomorrow. Will you?