I’ve heard three Christmas stories this week.
- The recurring one was actually the same story I hear every year. The story you probably hear every year at this time – the one about presents. The one where you start complaining about how expensive Christmas is, or how busy the shops are, or how tired you are because you’ve had too many Christmas parties already.
- The second one was about Sean Stewart. Sean is 10 years old and lives in Louisiana . His wish this Christmas is to receive 1,000 Christmas cards. You see, Sean’s favourite thing in the world is getting mail. Last year, his mum launched a card campaign through which he received 450 cards. She said “He’s definitely a person who shows that, despite the odds, he’s willing to and he’s tried so hard to break this idea of what people speculate, or what people think about with people with special needs. He is definitely breaking the mold”. Ah, Sean is on the spectrum. Sean’s mom says in addition to helping with his communication, the Christmas card campaign has helped her son develop new interests in things, like collecting stamps and stickers and learning about geography. You can send Sean cards at: Sean Stewart, P.O. Box 359, Natchitoches, LA 71458.
- The last one was about a mall Santa. It read “…My child is amazing! He has his quirks and drives me bonkers, but he is amazing! The other day he went to see Santa w the cousins. He said his peace to the old man in red and walked away. While aunt Brittany waited for pictures to print, he went back to Santa bc he wanted to tell him that he has Autism. He was flapping his hands, all excited to let Santa know that he has autism. Santa sat him next to him and took L’s hands in his and started rubbing them, calming them down. Santa asked L if it bothered him, having Autism? L said yes, sometimes. Then Santa told him it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t bother him to be who he is. L told Santa that sometimes he gets in trouble at school and it’s hard for people to understand that he has autism, and that he’s not a naughty boy. Santa told L to not worry and that he has been a very good boy being who he is. They sat, and chatted for at least 5 mins. Santa payed close attention and listened to him. This just melts this momma’s heart! My child is a great advocate for himself. But this day was different. He opened up to this person about who he was and he was accepted. He wasn’t a science experiment, like he gets treated when most people find out he autistic. He was Landon, sitting with Santa and being told that it was ok to be himself. Mommy tells him all the time that he’s special and I love him the way he was made, but it’s always nice to hear it from others. To be told that it’s ok to be who he is.
We have met a lot of amazing people in our Autism journey, but this one made the top of the list.
Shout out to the Santa at the RiverTown Crossings Mall. You.are.AMAZING.
This Christmas, amongst the THOUSANDS of presents you buy, you can maybe send a card to Sean, or sit with a person on the spectrum or one of their family members and just listen. It is impossible to explain to people whose Christmas budget may easily count up to thousands that an autism family’s Christmas list looks like this:
- Make sure my child is comfortable.
Only when it comes to food does Christos ever ask us to buy him something. He used to maybe ask for anything that had Toy Story or Super Mario on it, and because it’s such a rare occurrence we would rush to buy it for him. When we were in Disneyland, this year, he would point at stuff, I’d run over and pick it up to buy and he would grab my hand and ask me to return it. He didn’t want it, he didn’t need it; he just wanted me to look at that toy from Toy Story, he wanted to tell me who the character was, he wanted me to be as excited to see it as he was. It’s difficult buying Christos presents because he literally doesn’t need anything and he never asks for anything either. I used to buy him packs of DVD’s, which he would hide for years, or games for this Game Boy which he probably hasn’t played since I bought them because he only plays one game per year approx. So, now I buy him clothes because I know he’ll wear those (sometimes). This year i got him a jumper that says ‘Unwrap me’ which I think the family will giggle at – and Christos will enjoy smile that comes with the jokes he won’t understand.
Christos doesn’t write Santa lists, he doesn’t get a new phone, or the latest game; he doesn’t want it. All he wants is the meal. The one where all of our insanely loud family sits around a table and eats until there is nowhere else to put food except Tupperware to take home for the next couple of days. The one where my grandpa will say ‘Christo Cheers’ to him a million times and Christo will clink his glass a million and one times, because its Christmas and he knows that’s what we do on Christmas. He loves having people over – because of the food, but also because he loves having our family around. He loves the people he spends Christmas with and isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Loving your people. He waits for my mum to decorate the massive Christmas tree, and the rest of the house. She does an amazing job – and that perfectly decorated tree will be our Christmas memory forever. He wants the lights to be on, all flickery and cheerful, he reminds mum when she forgets. I think they still have a date booked on the calendar for when the tree goes up.
He’s learned to adapt to these
exaggerated surroundings for Christmas. Yes, his sensory sensitivity must go over the roof with the colours, the lights, the shouting, the food, the singing, the sheer madness – but he loves it. He waits for it. He has learned that that’s what we do, that’s who we are and he accepts it. He doesn’t want to be alone, or left out, or locked in his room. He wants to be alone with us – that’s his gift to us.
Don’t forget to send Sean a card this year; to tell a family they are doing a good job; to appreciate how lucky you are; to help a struggling parent in a busy shop with a crying kid. Don’t forget to be kind.