Mum has taken up beach camping recently and when I was in Cyprus we were discussing whether it would be plausible to take Christos camping. When you live with Autism you acquire one very specific skill; whatever situation you are given you can name at least 10 things that can go wrong in under a minute.
So here is a list of all the things we thought of that might go wrong at camping:
- No electricity – means no game boy because he likes the game boy to be pugged in when he plays. It means no 8am and 8pm cartoons, it means no playing games on mum’s phone while he waits for dinner.
- No toilet facilities. This is an obvious one – if it ain’t porcelain it ain’t for us.
- Cleanliness – Where will he shower at 6pm?
- Sand – His feet will never be clean enough.
- Time – Granted, he loves the beach but he loves it for a certain amount of time at a certain hour.
- Seating – Nature doesn’t provide a comfy couch, bed, or chair and nothing less is acceptable.
- Food – you can’t make salmon pasta at a camp.
- Routine – Too much free time, too little to do. Even for one day, it would be so distressing for him.
- Socialising – He would go to the beach, maybe kick around a ball for a bit, then what?
- No aircon – He would be hot and uncomfortable the entire time.
He would repeat that he wants to go home over and over again. All the time. All the hours, all the minutes. Like me, that’s exactly what I would do.
That’s why you can never take us camping, unless its glam.